How A Particular Song Saved Me

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All of us have very different opinions as to how music affects us. However, for me, things are way a little closer to perfection. I always love music as a kid, and until now on my 20’s, I still make sure that I associate my everyday duties with the songs I like. But that is not going to be the topic of this article. Since a lot of people don’t know how music works in rough times, let me share how it changed my life.

The Mental Health Battle

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Things in my life are pretty much standard. Honestly, I can’t complain because there is nothing to complain about either. I have my family that supports my small and huge life decisions. I hang out with good influence friends. Happy individuals in our community also surround me. With that, there is nothing I can elaborate more. However, though I get encircled with great people, I experienced a strange chill inside. I am not happy and contented with things. I once thought it was something usual because it sometimes goes away and then comes back and goes away again. I didn’t pay enough caution to the mental health side because I am entirely sure there is nothing to worry on the physical state. But then, I was wrong. I get diagnosed with major clinical depression, and it was worse.

My mental illness got intense, and it tried to make me do things I know I am not supposed to do. I attempted to commit suicide. I pretty much hate everything about life at that time. But then one particular moment, as I was in my room having thoughts on how to end my life, I heard a song. It was entitled “Welcome To My Life” by Simple Plan. The first few lines hit me hard, so I began listening to the whole song. The message was very devastating and relatable that I started crying. The song made me feel more helpless and unworthy. It made me realize that my life sucked. Due to the message it delivered to me, I listened to it again and again. I began to internalize and feel it more deeply. Of course, every line of it hurt my feelings over and over again. But it didn’t stop me because I felt happy emotionally hurting myself.

I Am Saved

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With all the frustrations I am having that moment, I suddenly came to reality. I noticed I no longer feel burdened by something. Is it because I cried my heart out? Well, it doesn’t matter. After one whole day of listening to that song, I realized one thing. My life should be in my control, and my mental illness shouldn’t mess with it. With that moment, I started listening to songs that are hurtful and damaging. And it is meaningful that it didn’t negatively affect me. Instead, listening to devastating music helped me understand the things I am going through with my life. It allows me to manage my emotions and work myself through emotional and mental healing.